DESS Newsletter - 35

DESS Newsletter - 35 “No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted” – Aesop

I would like start by wishing you all a Ramadan Kareem. During the holy month we are taking the opportunity at DESS to pause and reflect on how we can show kindness to others through our daily Ramadan calendar. So far the children have been encouraged to smile, say thank you, tell a member of their family how much they appreciate them, help around the house, give a compliment to a friend and find a charity to support.  From a hug to a show of appreciation to random acts of kindness, every act of kindness has the potential to change the course of someone’s day.

“No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted” – Aesop

Kindness is a strength that, alongside love and social intelligence, is within the Humanity virtue. It is about seeing with your heart and is often held to be the ultimate human trait. Empathy is hardwired in us from birth. If empathy is understanding, then compassion is acting on that understanding. For our younger children at DESS this might mean sharing a toy or helping someone who has hurt themselves. For our older children kindness might be comforting someone who is sad or scared, donating to charity or helping around the house with chores.

An act of kindness builds trust, connection and faith, it is contagious, and many would say has the power to change the world.

Like a muscle that gets stronger with exercise, compassion and happiness grow too with every act of kindness. Science also proves that being kind improves your health! It releases feel good hormones, eases anxiety, is good for your heart, can help you live longer, reduces stress and can prevent illness.

To be kind we don’t need to make grand gestures or spend lots of money, in fact hugs could be seen as the best form of gift as every time you give one you get one! Research has shown that hugging can make you healthier and happier.

In assembly this week the children in Year 4 were asked to be kind to others by saying thank you. Watch the assembly here (link) and find out who they are thankful for.

However, just like the airline safety reminders to put on your oxygen mask before helping others, most of all – and especially in these unprecedented times – it is important to remember to be kind to yourself. This may mean healthy habits and routines, but it’s also about releasing the pressure valve by pausing, putting things into perspective and remembering that we are all different; our families, our children and our circumstances. Give yourself permission to have bad moments, it is likely that everyone at the moment is experiencing that ‘out of sorts’ feeling. Be kind to yourself by recognising these feelings and knowing that it is ok. Look for the opportunities and silver linings and try to end every day with a sense of accomplishment and gratitude. Reach out for help if you need it and know that the DESS community is here for you.

Liz Miller

Stars of the Week

Mrs Davidson	Mrs Smith	Mrs Kaviani

Message from our School Advisor

Being Kind to Yourself

The only life-long relationship you will have, is with yourself. Being kind to yourself can be hard, especially when you are angry with yourself or disappointed due to something you did—or did not do. Parenting is so often a trigger for disappointment, shame, or blame, igniting our inner critic. For many of us, being kind to ourselves will feel so foreign that we will need to teach ourselves how to be self-compassionate. And that’s OK. You deserve it.

In her beautiful book ‘The Kindness Cure: How the Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart & Your World’, clinical psychologist and meditation teacher Tara Cousineau, Ph.D, shares an assortment of strategies to help us practice self-compassion. Below you’ll find four suggestions and insights from the book.

Speak sincere words of kindness. Using a kind tone, create self-compassionate statements that are clear, reassuring, and true to your experience. According to Cousineau, you can create your statement by asking yourself: “What do I need to feel calm in my body?” or “What do I yearn for from others?” When you find the right statements, you’ll know, because you’ll feel a wave of relief, inspiration or gratitude.

Savour touch. Touch activates our body’s soothing system, triggering positive feelings and a sense of safety. Cousineau suggests savouring sensations such as the warmth of a cup of tea; the freshening water of a shower; the softness of fleece, to generate this calm. When you’re struggling, you can give yourself a hug to relieve tension, place your hand over your heart to ground yourself and attune to what your body is telling you, or touch your face maternally.

Explore stress. Kindness is knowing ourselves and tending to our needs. One way we can do this is by exploring how stress affects us. Cousineau suggests revisiting a recent moment when you have felt stressed and be curious about it. Ask yourself the following:

• My stress symptoms include …
• I know I am stressed when I emotionally feel …
• The very first sign of stress is …
• When I’m stressed, my thinking becomes …
• Others can tell when I am stressed because I ….”

Once you identify how stress manifests for you, you can identify what will genuinely help and support you.

Delve deeper. To develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and how we can be kind, Cousineau suggests reflecting on these questions: “What does a meaningful life mean to me? What would I regret not doing at least once in my life? What would I die for? What am I most proud of? What am I grateful for? What is one habit I want to break, and what is one habit I want to create? When was the last time I said ‘I love you’ to those I care about? To myself?”

We don’t need to wait to be kind until we’ve supposedly done something worthy of compassion. We can make kindness part of our everyday. We can speak kindly and gently to ourselves, especially when we’re struggling. Cousineau defines kindness as “love in action.” How can you act lovingly toward yourself today?

Olivia Tom
Student Advisor

Meet the Teacher

Mr Tolan

What is your full name?
Patrick Tolan

What do you teach?
I teach Year 6 and I am the Year Group Leader.

What is your top tip to dealing with the stay at home policy?
My top tip is to prioritise your jobs for each day. Use the little bits of free time wisely, but also make sure to take regular breaks.

How are you staying active?
I stay active by taking my son out for bike rides at weekends (wearing our masks of course), also daily Joe Wicks sessions.

What is your favorite food?
I love all food; however, Thai food probably just edges it.

How do you relax in the evenings?
I work in the evenings to catch up on any work missed throughout the day due to my other role: being the best Dad I can be in these challenging circumstances and trying to entertain and amuse a toddler. Once the work has finished, I try and watch something entertaining. As live sport has come to a stop for the time being, I have caught up on some very good sporting documentaries to make up for the lack of live sport.

Caroline Wood

What is your full name?
Caroline Wood

What do you teach?
I teach Year 1 and I am the Year Group Leader.

What is your top tip to dealing with the stay at home policy?
I think it is important to have a little timetable for the day, even at the weekend. I find that it gives me purpose and makes sure that I do a variety of things. I like to start the day in a fresh, positive way, usually with a little yoga or a few stretches. I go to bed at a normal time to keep structure in my life. That certainly works for me.  

I love baking and cooking and I think spending some time outside is key. I have a paddling pool that I sit in each weekend and enjoy an iced latte! I imagine being on a gorgeous beach somewhere which keeps me positive.

How are you staying active?
I often dance or walk around the living room to music. It is great fun and keeps you energised. I am also doing some yoga each day at 6:30am before I start the morning, as I feel it wakes me up and helps all of my joints before I sit for the day.

What is your favorite food?
Oooooh this is a difficult one as I have lots of favourites! If we are talking about treats, it has to be chocolate, as I do have a very sweet tooth. However, I also love a good homemade chilli or cheese and crackers. My favourite fruit is raspberries and my favorite vegetable is tenderstem broccoli.

How do you relax in the evenings?
In the evenings, I love to go for a walk around my living room or I take a short walk near my apartment. I also love to bake, play the piano, read a book and watch a good documentary or series on television. I also started knitting a little recently, which I find very relaxing, but I think I will only be making a scarf for a doll at this rate! 

Stars of the Week

We are proud to announce that the following children each received Star of the Week. Well done to everyone!

Thursday 7th May 2020